Sexual Assault in the church and the way forward

Yesterday my youngest daughter reminded me of one of my life proverbs, "Take responsibility and take responsibility for your actions." This old military saying reminds us that adults are responsible to provide leadership and are also responsible for the decisions that they make. Unfortunately there is a chronic issue that has caused churches, Christian colleges and denominations to break out in a cold sweat. That issue is sexual abuse.

Already I can see some folks will want to stop reading and pull up a nice quote about puppies or playful kittens, but this simply supports the problem. As long as the local church tolerates sexual immorality, adultery and abuse it will be unable to address our culture's rejection of the Gospel.

I experienced this problem of churches refusing to deal with longstanding sexual issues when I pastored a church in Idaho. There was a church member who for years had abused his granddaughters. I reported the crime to the police. The negative response from the church was huge. They said, "What good will sending him to prison do now?" "It was so long ago, and besides it was only sex." My response to those questions then, as it is now is this; it will benefit the victim helping her/him to understand that they were victims. Psychologically and spiritually this is huge and it will help the victim begin the healing process. It will help the church. Members will see that the local church is serious about protecting people and it is serious about calling Christians to a holy walk. It will help unbelievers see the holiness of God, the purity of the local church, its seriousness about following Christ, and the implications of the Gospel. It will allow the criminal/perpetrator to understand how deeply they have offended God before the world, the church, their family and how they have sinned against themselves. Prosecuting the perpetrator also provides them the opportunity to repent, turn to Christ, find forgiveness and begin the process of reconciliation as they serve their time in prison.

Often there are two responses, both of which are based on bad theology. The first is that bringing immorality into the light will hinder the Gospel. The 7th Commandment is a command against sexual actions outside of marriage. Jesus tells us that lust, let alone sexual immorality is a grievous sin. The Apostle Paul condemned the sexual sins of the Church at Corinth. Exposing sin does not hinder the Gospel, rather it promotes the Gospel. It shows that our God is real, He is to be feared, that we love and obey Him and that His commands are understood to be for His glory and our best.

The second error is that we are saved by grace, so our sin 'doesn't really count.' The church throughout its 2,000 year history has done a lot of stupid things. One of the worse is believing that since one is saved by grace and is a saint in heaven that it is alright to live like the devil on earth. A constant theme in the New Testament is "examine yourself" to see by your belief, your attitudes and your actions that you are really a Child of God, a follower of Christ. A young pastor shared the story of a man who was involved in adultery, and he was a church member. When the pastor questioned his relationship with Christ the man pointed to the prayer he prayed when he was young. So he thought his eternal destiny was secure. The young pastor pointed out the error of his thinking. There was nothing in his adult life that pointed to a commitment to Christ, other than the fact that when he was young he had prayed a prayer and had been put on the church's membership role. The fellow’s life, attitudes and actions pointed to a man who had no desire to live for Christ. That man is looking towards eternal disaster if he does not repent and follow Christ.

Many in the Church will not do two things necessary to become a Christian. They will not acknowledge that they are not God. The universe does not revolve around them. The second thing is that they must acknowledge that Jesus is God and pledge their eternal allegiance to Him. If one is not willing to do those two things then they may be a lot of things, but a Christian they are not.  

While serving as a Chaplain at a state prison one of the prisoners told me that his crime was not his fault. He blamed his crime on the seductive actions of the 6 year old girl. The sad thing is that many of the church members had taken his side. One of the common operational methods of sexual predators is their Angel/Monster lifestyles. Many offenders have a public personality that is exemplary. This is done on purpose. When they act as a monster abusing someone the victim is often confronted with rejection. The victim MUST be making it up, So and So is a leader in the church and such a good person. Even when faced with overwhelming evidence many people are somehow convinced that what they see in public is the sum total of a person's personality. Any police officer will tell you that church people can commit crimes like everyone else.

Recently a student of mine asked for advice about an issue. She told me that her pastor had asked her to perform oral sex on him. She was devastated. The next time she met with the pastor she brought her sister. The pastor propositioned her sister. What the pastor did not know was that this student had chosen prior to that meeting to record it on her phone. After the second meeting she came and spoke to me. I encouraged her to fill out a report and contact the denomination. Although there is a lot more to the story the conclusion is that the denomination's rule book is very clear on this subject. In response to the evidence they removed the pastor. The pastor and his wife will be required to receive counseling. Depending on the outcome of the counseling and the denominations verdict it is questionable if this pastor will ever return to full time ministry. Please understand what the victim and the response of the denomination were very good. Sin was addressed, victims were supported, God is honored, a perpetrator and his family is getting help and the world is hearing that the church of Christ is not a social club but a holy place.

There is a lot more that could be addressed on this subject. We could address the rampant problem of adultery in Protestant/Evangelical churches. The insanity of some Christian parents who force their daughters to get an abortion so that they will not be embarrassed in front of their friends. The toleration of Churches towards predatory Youth Pastors who date and/or abuse the church kids. The toleration of Churches to allow immoral young adults to continue to prey on the vulnerable in the church, and you know there is more.

There are simply two calls to action that I would like to propose to you. The first is to repent before God and the church for our lazy response to sexual sin. God is holy, and He will not tolerate our immoral actions for long. Second, work with other Christian groups to identify sexual predators and keep them out of ministry positions. At the very least do these two things; 1. Have every person who works with children or youth go through a criminal background check, and 2. Make it a mandatory policy that no male staff member be alone with anyone of the opposite sex except their wife. Unless a minister is a professional therapist the potential for problems when these boundaries are not followed are huge.

Christ is calling His church to be holy. There is a way forward that addresses sexual sin in the church, that honors Christ and that confronts the world with the unchanging Gospel. The way forward does not allow us to do things the way it has always been done. We must act! We must protect the weak and vulnerable! We must confront sin in the church! Soldiers of Christ arise, a world in ruin needs you!